I have stretched a lot over the past month. I have stretched my body through hours of Surya Namaskara and Virabhadrasana. I have stretched my lungs with pranayamas. I have stretched my mind for answers to complicated questions like, “Who am I?” I have stretched my soul to its depths and found pieces of myself I forgot had sunk. I have stretched my heart wide open to receive whatever kind of love and healing was needed. I have stretched my beliefs to encompass something I actually believe in by throwing myself into the current of the Universe. In doing so, I have stretched into a new realm of myself based in authenticity, spirit and love.
My yoga teacher training was the most educational, mind-expanding, soul-nourishing, heart-opening experience I have ever had. Practicing yoga, living, and learning communally with 26 other people creates a space that allows one to be open and vulnerable where a lot of things come out. This is what we are doing here, stretching our limits, letting go of what doesn’t serve us, filling ourselves up with the sweet nectar of life instead. We are healing from the inside out. Every day we approach the mat, we face challenges with our practice, and this is a reflection of our lives, of the places we may need to work on. I began to notice that every day at Mystical Yoga Farm I was recognizing my challenges, the spaces for growth, and taking my practice more and more off of my mat and into my life–I’m healing all over the place, from my injured knee to my buried demons! The transformation that takes place during a YTT is both exhausting and profound as new habits are ingrained, seeds are planted, neural pathways are created, and we spread our eagle wings wide open and jump into the air. Every moment played a part in getting me to that point of jumping, which is now. Every morning practice, lesson, realization, conversation, reading, breathing, loving moment was real and raw and I am so grateful to have experienced them, for what they have done to help me get to NOW. Here are five of these raw, beautiful moments that have left a lasting reverberation in my wings:
1) Teaching my first class ever! The culmination point, the summit of my purpose here! What an adrenaline rush, preparing and stressing over how a sequence flows and how to count the breaths and adjusting on an exhale. But when the moment came to teach a fellow classmate a 90 minute hatha flow class, it all just fell together with a smooth flow, steady voice and solid attentiveness. It was an adrenaline rush and a comfort zone, to be leading something that I love, to be moving the body, mind and soul together, and to be using my own voice and organic words to illustrate intention and plant seeds of love. Afterwards, I felt high, excited and eager to continue practicing, to dive into all aspects of living yoga to enhance my teaching abilities, to learn more about myself through this new process, this new embodiment. Teaching yoga for the first time was an affirmation that I am on the right path by pursuing the things I am passionate about, that I can use my voice and embody my confidence to teach yoga, to ground down and open up as a channel of light to guide the practice without ego.
2) Days of silence. We observed two half days of silence and one full day of silence while living on the farm. After becoming comfortable hearing the chit chat and laughter permeating through the air and dominating mealtimes, it is an interesting transition and contrast into a day of silence. The mind tends to wander in silence, searching for something to look at, make sense of, question, answer, judge, react to… it is exhausting and liberating to realize this. Once you tell your mind to chill, that it will be a longgg day if it doesn’t, you start to concentrate on different things you have never noticed before–the sound of the wind through a papaya tree’s leaves, the way the sun reflects off of the lake, the tremendously juicy papaya bursting with layers of flavor! Time slows down and there is no pressure to ask how your neighbor is doing or discuss the reading. It is so refreshing to take the time to enjoy the silence, to bask in it and let it guide you through being completely present. Observing the Self in silence really encourages you to look inward at how you are truly feeling, what you are experiencing and why.
3) Gift sharing. My favorite activity and bonding moment during the YTT was our gift sharing ceremony. It is such a beautiful experience to be in community with one another, acknowledging and respecting one another’s uniqueness and celebrating who they are and what they have to give. Everyone has something to share and it is worthy. As we navigate through this life we need to remember to be open and share ourselves authentically with the people we interact with, that it is human to be seen and felt and moved by other humans. I remember being especially moved by the recognition that everyone’s gift was so purely them and that in itself is what made it so real and raw and beautiful. Friends shared their artwork, song, poetry, dance, food, jokes, music… This experience is one that continues to push me to be my creative self in all areas of my life, to look at what I have to give as an offering from this space, as an invitation for the audience to join me in honoring the moment and the authentic nature of one’s being.
4) Daily kirtan and satsang. Every night we gathered around a fire or candlelight to chant mantras, make music, and share thoughts from the day in a sacred circle. I absolutely love participating in ceremony as it strongly connects me to spirit, it allows me to ground down into Pachamama and feel her vibration course throughout me, it reminds me to open up to the stars above and feel the release of my trust into the Universe and light. These were always profound circles for me and I felt they solidified the day’s lessons and practices into my bones so that I can move naturally with them later or let them out when I feel them knock. This was also the place where we grew the most as a group, our minds exhausted and overloaded from the day, or body’s sore from practice, our souls inspired and excited and glowing in their own light. We opened up our souls in this space, sharing our struggles and our gratitude, sharing whatever was in our hearts, honoring and supporting what one another had to say with a firm “Aho.”
5) Strangers turning into family. On the first day of my YTT a group of beautiful, quiet, nervous, excited souls gathered in a circle and shared one thing they loved and one thing they feared with a group of strangers. By the second day these strangers felt more like old friends. Halfway through the program, many of these friends were closer to me than people I had known for years at home; some of them knew things about me that I had never told anyone! On the last day of my YTT a group of beautiful, quiet, radiant, elated souls gathered in a circle and shared one last practice together as a family. This was such an enriching experience to be a part of and I am overflowing with gratitude for every single classmate turned brother or sister that I got to grow, share, create, and BE with through such a transformative process in our lives. I am constantly being shown how interwoven all of us are, how we are all just one huge family.
Shake This Land 